Monday, August 16, 2010
Stepping Forward With Both Feet
The idea of writing this blog has been on my mind for quite awhile now. I wanted to write a blog about what I do...being a housewife/homemaker/stay-at-home mom. It is after all what I know best and yet it is the subject I know so little about. I recently took a deep look inside as to what exactly I was doing at home with my children. For the past six years or so I have struggled with my role as a homemaker. Part of me felt as if I was letting down someone. Not myself, but someone out there. Maybe all the women who fought for equality in the workplace, for women's suffrage. Maybe all the teachers who said I would go far in my education. I had several jobs that were on my list of what I "should" grow-up to be. A teacher, a doctor, a nurse. They were all impressive jobs when asked what I wanted to be. In high school I entered a magnet school that concentrated on medicine. I wanted to be a doctor. Looking back now, I realize that I never really wanted to be one. The title just sounded awesome. I never had that deep down passion for medicine that my friends had. It just seemed the thing a modern, smart girl should do. On the other hand, the other part of me is so in love with staying home with my children. With seeing them grow, be silly, feeding them, dressing them, watching all the firsts. All of it. But yet, I carried this little badge of shame when asked what I do for a living. That little badge is what bothered me. I asked myself why. What was it about being a stay-at-home mom that bothered me? It was until recently that I realized how unfair I was being to my children, husband and ultimately myself for not appreciating my "job". I realized I was letting other people's views of what a woman should do affect what I was doing. I realized that doing what I do is not for everyone just as being a doctor, a teacher, a cook, etc. is not for everyone. I may not get paid, I may not get a vacation, but what I do is a job...a real one. I am incredibly blessed to do what I do. Like any job there is room for improvement and growth. So, here I am. This is my self-evaluation time(I know about those..worked in HR for almost 6 years ;-) ). I am taking a step forward with both feet. I am a SAHM and I plan to do the best I can. I realize I am a minority in today's world, but I plan to embrace it. I plan to share what I find that helps me as a mom. Hoping what I share helps another mom out there, all moms.